Another trip...

The time has come to post about the latest trip.

I drove 3 hours by myself, which is fine, but I usually prefer to have company. Met up with 'the gang' about 1/2 way thru the trip for lunch. Then on to our destination.

Arrived, checked in to the hotel (after resolving some company credit card issues...gotta hate that) and went to my room. Had to attend a meeting. Gal-pal that was unable to attend the last trip was at the meeting and then hung around for a little while afterwards. Maybe she will be able to hang the whole time for our next outing.

For dinner we were shuttled to a local horse farm (where the movie Dreamer was filmed). Open bar and good food....and a chocolate fountain to die for!! Shuttled back to the hotel and made our way to the hospitality suite. Another open bar. Decided we needed to pay for our drinks, so we set out on foot to find a hoppin' joint. Not easy on a wednesday night. Eventually we found a place we could hang in for a while. Had a guy playing guitar. He was good, it was loud.

Met up with more members of 'the gang' and laughed so hard my sides hurt. Aside from the fact that we were having to yell to hear each other over loud guitar guy, there were movie lines being tossed around in a most hysterical manner. "C'mon Cletus!... you might walk over here, but you'll limp back....c'mon!" And then a bunch of 1/2 clad college girls piled in. Being amidst a group of males contemplating the best or most unique pick-up line involving a female's breastesses is enough to make anyone pee their pants. Truly a comical experience that I am glad I was a part of.
We stayed at this place until they literally kicked us out. Not because we were 'unruly'..but because it was closing time.

We all walked back to the hotel and all ended up in one room for more hangin out and beer drinking....and of course, tons more laughter. So much that hotel security made a visit to inform us of the "noise complaint" they had received. The conversation that followed THAT was almost more than my laughter capacity could bear. omg...i'm sitting here laughing as i think about it. ROFLMAO something about the next time there was a knock on the door and balancing on the cooler to get the 'pink eye' at peep hole level.. roflmaoooooooo
Just as we all thought we were ready to call it a night...one of the gang, we'll call him P, was laughing and suddenly said "OH!" and jetted for the bathroom....that's when S said "yeah, he just shit his pants" and we all hit the floor with fits of unleashed hysterics......omg...... i have not laughed so hard in a very very long time.

Somewhere around 3:30 a.m. my head finally hit a pillow. At 5:45 a.m. my eyes pop open like I have had a full 8 hours of sleep. So I get up and shower and begin a new day.

training sessions...blahblah....

C and I decide to create a new session to attend. We called it "Municipal Association of Leading Ladies" ....or..... MALL for short. HAHA That's right, we skipped out on some of the training and went shopping!! Didn't buy anything. Otherwise we would have went buying (as my illustrious cousin puts it). We did however walk the entire mall...in 2 1/2 inch heels. Not good for the puppies. Our dogs were BARKIN'!! I think mine even growled a few times.

Let's see.... um......oh yeah....dinner!
We were fed dinner compliments of an engineering firm. It was decent. The drinks were good. I highly recommend a Malibu Pineapple ;) The derby pie was the best part of the whole meal. I think C and I ate 3 slices between the 2 of us. It's ok though...we danced it off later!

Back to the hotel...I changed into my flipflops with the green fuzzies on the straps and then off to the evening festivities. Mock-casino and dancing....and another open bar. At some point I ended up on the dance floor doing the electric slide in my flipflops.....party on! We again close down the joint, so off to the hospitality suite (another open bar) we go. There was a big poker game going on there. Some dude fell asleep at the table with cards in hand.

Head hits pillow again around 3:30 a.m. Only this time, I missed breakfast.

Training session...blahblah....

Drove 3 hours home, to arrive an hour before the Friday night high school football game.

Guess what....another trip is already planned.... another 6 weeks away though. I can hardly wait!

What a trip!

I had a 2 1/2 day training session last week. Those of you that know me very well at all know that i absolutely LOVE when these things roll around because it gives me my time away with some of my gal-pals. One of them didn't make this trip though....and i missed her!

So here's the story of the trip...

We get there Wednesday. Where we are we have absolutely no cell service. I called *spouse* from roomie's cell (she had one bar) I gave him the room number and then got cut off.

blahblah.. training session..blahblah

Wednesday night we had a mystery dinner theater. It was ok... pirate theme, the food was SPICY!!!!!!! carribean jerk chicken and some spiced out of this world hot veggies.... then after that we did karaoke...with an open bar... i didn't do too bad there, cpl of mixers... C and I tried to make my fav drink (Sex on the Beach) but didn't have the right ingredients so we improvised and called them "Sandy Cracks". LMAO Karaoke was fun, but they wouldn't let me sit down. I tried, and whoever happened to be up there at the time would tell me to stay. Someone said afterwards that she had no idea i was so funny. (yeah ok, get with the program sister!) After that we went to our rooms. Roomie and I were on the 3rd floor. C was on the first floor. I think roomie had left earlier, she was tired. So as C and i split to go to our rooms I asked her if she wanted me to walk her to her room (there was a picnic table out front and there were 3 guys sitting there, i didn't know if they would hurt her or not, but i didn't figure they would come after me, since i'm such a badass and all LMAO) She said no, and i went up in the elevator. I got to the room, put my jammies on, pulled my hair back in a pony and washed my face. Knock on door....C....wants me to go downstairs w/ her and talk to the guys. At first i said no, but she talked me into it (i'm easy lol) Got down there (in my jammies w/ my hair pulled back in a pony and no makeup) one was older, one was mexican, and the other was not too bad.. he had a unibrow and a shaved head, but they were all fun. I sat on a 2-seater thing with the mexican. He was getting drunk. He kept calling the shaved headed one "tender", for bartender, because he would refill/replenish the drinks. Say 'tender with a mexican accent and its hilarious....and then me copying him before i could stop myself! LMFAO we stayed out there talking until 1 am. (cause 'tender kept making more beer magically appear) the next day someone asked me if that was me outside til 1 cause she would hear voices, and then bursts of laughter, and she said it HAD to be me out there.

Thursday...training sessions.....blahblah

C was using her puter in the dining room or outside or somewhere and met some guys that had a houseboat on the lake. She came into session and told me we were goin on a houseboat that night. **ok!** Roomie wouldn't go, but we got *new girl* to go with us. That girl is a hoot.... i cracked UP at her! (we were doing the caveman geico commercials) well, Thursday AM *other person* had been sick...some kind of bug we think.... i saw her at lunch and talked to her some.
Thursday night....dinner w/ the group. Another open bar, more Sandy Cracks. C and I and *new girl* cut out before dessert and i went upstairs to call *spouse*. Told him to call me the next morning. I changed my clothes to cut-off sweats, tshirt, and tennies, pulled my hair into piggies, and off we went. Crammed into C's car with C, me, *new girl*, and 3 of the guys to drive to the marina. There were....oh.....9 or so of the guys.... lemme count.... scott, steve, mike, matt, mike, jeremy, chris, seth, and brandon.... and then greg, and one they called escobar lmao i met the first 9 at the lodge, the other 2 stayed on the houseboat cause they weren't hungry. We take a speedboat ride (drinking beer enroute) out to the houseboat....which was totally ROCKIN!!!!!! 6 bedrooms...2 levels....hot tub..... grill..... bar...and SLIDE to the water! The houseboat is tied to shore and at the back they have tied to one side the speedboat we rode out on, on the other side is tied another speed boat, and along the very back there is tied a bassboat that Escobar is night-fishing out of. When we got there, the one named greg was high and drinkin beam.... kept tryin to get me to take a shot... i said no, no, no. He had cooked some chicken on the grill, so he said "shot or piece of chicken" which i heard as "piss a chicken" and i said "um, i've never pissed a chicken before, but damn if i won't try" Matt was standing there and i thought he would piss himself laughing. So this greg guy keeps on with me about the shot....and Jeremy (who had longer hair and was totally turning me on) says "just do one and he'll leave u alone" so i do one shot of beam. Then jeremy takes me inside and i make a rum/coke and we walk thru the little hallway to the other end of the boat where there is an outside table by the grill. In the hallway C ends up behind me.... so it was jeremy, me, then C....and jeremy stops short.... i bout ran up his ass. A bunch of us sat at the table, talking and laughing and drinking. I drank all my drink, so I went back to refill. I went back to the other end of the boat to see if the fishermen had caught anything.... and to get a coke for my next rum/coke drink. greg is still out there w/ the beam and the shot glass..... C appears...and then *new girl* appears....and he's tryin to get us all to take a shot.... C does hers, *new girl* does hers, and then i tell him i already did one....he says i didn't....jeremy tells me to "just do one and he'll leave u alone"....so i did ANOTHER shot. i got my coke, poured it in my cup, and saw C goin up some corkscrew stairs to the top level. I follow, along with everyone else except the ones fishing. C gets in the hot tub and i stand beside it. greg had gotten in w/ her and kept tryin to rub on her....lmao.....she kept moving across to the other side....it was funny. so jeremy is standing beside me and C ran out of whatever drink she had (something w/ hawaiian punch in it)and i drank all mine. jeremy offers to go get us refills. when he comes back, C gets out.....so greg got out. he wrapped a towel around himself but he's shaking and i commented on his shakin like a wet puppy. He eased up behind me and starts rubbing my back, so i told him he had 30 minutes to quit. lmao jeremy cracked up, and so did matt (who by this point was walking around with plastic boobs on that had red blinky lights as nipples LMFAO) somehow we end up sittin back on the lower deck at the table again.... and i'm starting to feel yucky. i could tell i was gonna puke..... so i got out of my chair and went over to the side of the boat and leaned over..... i heard someone say "she's drunk" and then someone else said "she's gonna be sick man" and then someone put their mouth by my ear and said "i'm sorry i got u drunk, hun" and BLLLAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKKKKK i spewed chunks major!!!!! i'm not real sure, but i think at some point i flashed my boobs. i remember someone telling me i had nice tits. there are things i don't remember at all. i remember them helping me back on the speedboat to go back to the marina. i remember the speedboat ride....and throwing up several times....someone had their arm around me and i was leaning on them and they were holding a plastic container under my chin to catch the puke. C told me later it was Mike, older than me, but really really nice. i had talked to him a bit at the lodge earlier in the day. so we get to the marina and i dunno how i got out of the speedboat, but i remember bein on the pier/dock and having to puke again. i got down on my hands and knees and leaned over the water. mike was holding on to me so i didn't go over.... and i hurled more..... 2 of the guys picked me up and CARRIED ME to the car! as we got out to the parking lot a cop drove up. i remember sitting on the curb. i could hear them telling the cop i was gonna be ok, i had already thrown up alot. i remember the cop saying he would drive us back to the lodge.... and.... i remember C having to take a breathalyzer. she told me later that i had thrown up again, the cop nearly got sick, and he decided he didn't want me in his car, so if she blew ok on the breathalyzer he was gonna let her drive back while he followed.roflmao He said she blew a .038......how? i have NO idea cause i KNOW she had more alcohol in her system than that! i remember the guys putting me in bed in C's room and taking off my shoes..... and i was OUT until about 4:30 am....i woke up and thought "shit! i got to get to my room b4 *spouse* calls!" so i woke C up and told her i was leaving. went to my room and took a shower and got in bed.
i asked C about showing my boobs, she told me she didn't see me do it. she did say i sucked a few noses though! LMFAO
i didn't make it to the training sessions on friday. we headed home around noon. C and roomie decided they wanted to stop at Cracker Barrel to eat lunch...i stayed in the car and slept.
Roomie was feeling sick too, so we decided that all my upchuckin' wasn't totally due to be being drunk. We deduced that I had also caught the bug that the other person had.

friday night-still sick. but no more puking.
saturday- still feeling rough.
sunday- some better, but not great. spouse tried to make his move in the bedroom. i just wasn't feeling up to it. Nor have i had the desire in quite some time to be with him. I haven't explained here that he and i have had major issues in our marriage. anyway, i tell him that i don't want to. he starts in on his incessant line of questioning and he asks me 3 questions
1. how come i can stay up til 1 am when i'm out with my friends, but can't stay awake past 9
pm when i'm at home.
2. am i still in love with him or do i just not find him attractive any more.
3. did roomie and i sleep in the same bed.

for the first time in my entire life i do believe i was speechless. there was an odd moment of silence before i jumped out of bed, utterly appalled that he would even imply such a thing, and headed for the couch. he followed close behind with his whining and was saying everything he could think of to try and backtrack on his words. it didn't work. i think after about 30 minutes i told him that his voice was sounding like fingernails on a blackboard to me and that it would be in his best interest to shut up and leave me alone.

so there ya go.
2 weeks from tomorrow there will be another gal-pal trip! wheeeeeee stay tuned!

Effin Monday-Tuesdays!!!

So I should find a positive aspect to having a 3-day weekend, thereby followed by a 4-day work week. Or so I'm told. I think not.
This being the week before the annual festival here....it is CRAZY!!!!! phones are ringing, people are coming in...and it being a monday-tuesday i am not in the best of moods.
AND it is 10:20 and I have JUST NOW gotten my first cup of coffee! HELLO!!! AND I had to make said coffee! because SOME people in here feel they need not lift a bony finger to do ANYthing other than their outlined job duties. Funny, I don't recall "DRINK coffee" being in that outline either! But they sure as hell rushed right in there and poured the first cup once Mr. Coffee was finished with HIS duties! ((keep it up ppl....i'm bout to BLOW!))
So much for a smooth entry back to work.
Aside from this being the week before the annual festival...it is also the week before the monthly meeting. Which means I am supposed to be doing council packets this week. On top of everything else. I also have a tourism meeting tonight, for final preps for the annual festival. AND I SHOULD be prepping for the annual AUDIT!!!!! AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH

lets see....good thing.....good thing....can i find a good thing here......

oh yes....
Next week I will be out of the office Wednesday thru Friday... "business trip"..... maybe that will help. maybe. knowing me i will take all kinds of office work with me and won't have a true "night life" while I'm gone.

oh well.

My favorite quote of the day...

Sometimes I hear or read things that are just hysterical to me, here is the one for today

"WHERE THE FUCK IS MY HOT DAMN POKER YOU SON OF A BITCH, I'MA BURN YOUR EYES OUT, THEN YOU'LL STOP FUCKING STARING AT ME!!"

I laughed until I could not breathe when I read this...and laughed so hard I cried off all of my mascara!
I know this doesn't make sense to you right now, so let me give you the background story...

My spouse, whom I detest, felt he would try to intimidate me last night. I do not intimidate easily. Most the time I just ignore him. Which is what I did when I told him to quit staring at me and he let me know that he is my husband (something i wish he would quit reminding me of) and that he could look at me any time he wanted to. My cousin reacts differently. The above quote is how SHE would have reacted. LMFAOOOOOOOOO BUSTTTTTTTTTT
gotta love her!

I got a WHAT?!

I don't consider myself the prudish type. I am a very outgoing, outspoken kind of person. But considering recent events I think, looking from the outside in, I might possibly have been considered a prude by others. When I asked my cousin she told me I'm not a prude, I'm just "vanilla". Yeah, um, ok....???
Now, let me lay out these "recent events" for you:
The city I live and work in acquired its first official "adult business". Upon the owner's finding out that i have not ever owned or used the "toys" which would be sold at his establishment, he has been bound and determined to get me to shop there ever since. (I have not)
The owner of this business has more recently decided to run for elected office. When he made this known to me, he proposed that I be his campaign manager, and in return for doing so, he would give me a free silver bullet. I thanked him kindly for the offer, but did not accept.
Well, let me remind you of his bounded determinedness (i think i just made that up, but you know what i mean). One day, week before last, he delivered to me, via yummy-cop, said Silver Bullet. Oh, it was wrapped discretely in a bright yellow Dollar General Store bag. Yummy-cop insisted I take it, because he was NOT taking it back. I shoved it under my desk and there it sat through the weekend and into the next week. The business owner came to my work place and asked if i thought about him over the weekend. I told him no. My naivety (and forgetfullness) allowed me to keep a straight face. A few seconds later I remembered the "gift" under my desk from him. Jokingly i said "i looked at it but i don't know how to work it" (i really hadn't...it was still wrapped just like he sent it) he laughed and gave me these simple instructions "pop in two batteries, turn it on, and hang on!"
This weekend I got curious. I was free of kids. I decided to go to the office and make a fast break with the toy in tow.
At home, i followed the simple instructions i was given....and holy hell people "hang on" is an understatement! Now I will be the first to tell you that I'm the kind of girl that is all about oral sex. This little instrument is .... well.....da bullet is da bomb!!!!
I was... feelin' good... in well under a minute. So I did it again....and again!
Ladies and gentlemen......meet my new best quick fix friend!!!

gossip is a hurtful thing

Gossip exists everywhere that people live. However, it seems to get magnified within small communities.

I have learned that people make assumptions and stories get created, perhaps sometimes maliciously, but probably more often unwittingly, due to misunderstandings.

The words spread through gossip often have the power to hurt not only the person who is the object of the gossip, but also the listener who believes the gossip.

This is the case in the latest string of untruths abounding around here. I can't be sure at this point if my hurt is due to the rumor-mill continually churning with my name surfacing time and time again... or because a particular listener has now been hurt by what is heard. Maybe it is a painful combination of the two.

let the random thoughts begin:
some people are just stupid.
should i be flattered?
hurt.
and to think, these people are supposed to be my friends. maybe they don't consider me as such. obviously not.
why do i feel like i should be flattered? is that the way they want me to feel? i'm not.
only a true friend will confront you with what is being said about you when you aren't around.
a true friend defends your name when you aren't there to defend yourself.
i love small towns.... but it sucks to hold a 'high profile' job in one.
i need to throw up.
i want to hit somebody. a few bodies.
the very nerve.
assholes.
is there any justice in counteracting gossip with truth?
people believe what they want to.
other people still continue to talk.
what about the "if they aren't talking about me, they're talking about someone else" logic?
still hurts.
i should probably do some work and quit my silent venting.

cruise

today i leave.... to go on a cruise....
and yet... i still wonder...
when my ship will come in.

Lonely but not alone
Homeless when I'm at home.
Blue -- i'm wearing green.
feeling things i can't let be seen
can't let it show...so hard to hide
waves of emotions churn inside
when all at once, so much revealed
hurting, but being healed
the soft wind blows - sets my mind free
free to go - free to be
the soft wind blows - calms my soul
inside me still an emotion-filled hole
the words that lay upon this page
trying to free emotions, to become uncaged
sitting silent - need to scream
hidden moments feel like a dream
wind blows again, seems so surreal
able to feel all the things i feel
wash over me - my emotional wind
carry me with your currents to my emotional friend
the water - the wind - the comfort they send
wash over me the water - blow the emotional breeze
speaking so many words without saying a thing
the calm - the quiet - contentment - at ease
emotions inside that beg to be freed
the sun that sets behind the tree
closes the day on emotional me