Where to begin...

This page began it's transformation into what it shall become with the passing of the letters here upon this screen. I cannot begin to know where my thoughts will take me within this journey. I know only that I travel prepared by trial and error to face unknowns and hardships as they arise.

Fear, my companion, reminds me that I am truly alive and not untested. New waters of fathomless depths betray the calm appearances above. Should I flounder, or stumble and fall, I am to be caught not by another, but with wings of grace shall I fly off onto solid familiar ground. No stranger to the aches and pains of the weary traveler I trudge ever onward.

As my chair beneath moans with my shifting about, so too does my heart moan inside my chest. Heaving against the breast that restrains and confines, shelters and protects. It works endlessly, tirelessly, to beat against it's own demise. Born only to work and die, this great thing within me swells with life's blood only to drive it ever onward again and again.

Within these passings lay the deep emotions that bind all men, and separate us from the beast of the land. A soul hath no other, and within us all is promise undreamt.

Heavy the sigh that now escapes me. Tranquil and content. Secure in myself and the way I go. A glance back into times not forgotten but married to those yet made brings a warm smile across this moment. How very wonderful life. How very cruel as well. Yet live I do, and with glee, for there is tomorrow as there was yesterday. These are the points I should seek in the swelterings of disconcern. My guides to bring through heralding trespasses are they, and I who know them as no other can and must surely obey.

Well traveled the road before me. Many, yet not all, seek and have sought the same as I. None different, yet none the same as I. Am I then first upon worn paths? Such burdens we carry that weigh no man really. Ours a lot of our own choosing. Can the questions be their own answers? Seek and ye shall find. Seek and ye shall be sought too. Where in the measure am I? Does the countenance run as the sands from the hourglass? Which grain is mine own? Maychance am I the glass or the hand that holds it? Perchance tis sand alone...

I write as now to ease my mind. I ask of nothing more than you enjoy this as I have enjoyed laying it here. This my sign of passing. Where we go neither of us knows, and that is fine too. I shall enjoy your company as no other, for there is none as you before. Nor will there be none as you after. Let us be ourselves, as friends are.

Let's talk holidays

yanno....the font options given here really suck. lmao....now on to holidays!

I just love holidays. Besides the fact that most likely it involves a day away from work (with pay!) I just like festivities, celebrations, decorations....everything that goes along with those special days.
Let's just start in January and work our way through the year.

January
the month of my birth. (insert party horn smiley here)
Also the month of MLK Day. These two days just so happen to fall very close to one another, therefore sometimes allowing me extra celebration for MY day. haha.

February
The month of love. PAH! No really. I do like february. Helping the gc with Valentine's is a hoot. It is also the month the bc was born. But that's not really a holiday is it? Just another opportunity for celebration. Works for me. This is also the month wherein the observation of President's Day takes place. The third monday. nice...long weekend.

March
Not much going on in this month for me...no paid holidays. lol It IS the month of the gc's b-day, so that always makes it interesting to see what she has planned for celebration. The last one was a bunch of squealy girls at the house decorating t-shirts and tormenting the dog. Original idea from her. Most the time it's a theme party like Dora the Explorer, or Barbie, or Scooby-doo. This is also the month that I usually decide to decorate for spring, plant new flowers, spruce up the house a bit. Easter sometimes falls in this month which is always a good excuse to indulge in the Reese's cups eggs and jelly beans. I like to get creative in this area as well..... this last Easter is left a jelly bean trail from their bedroom doors to the location of the baskets....from the Easter Bunny of course. Also had to lock the pooch in my bedroom to ensure the trail be intact at the rising of the kiddos.

April
Same as March minus the gc's b-day. And yet another month goes by w/o a paid day off.

May
Mother's Day. My father's b-day (he was actually born ON Mother's Day) Also Memorial Day....yeah! paid holiday! Guess I should have made this one red or blue for that reason, huh? But no, I picked green...emerald...the birthstone for May. As a kid Memorial Day was always a big time for us because it marked the first official day of the water ski season and was usually spent with lots of friends and family at the lake with boats and bbq! As an adult.....well.....it's another paid holiday! lmao

June
June.....June....June.... nothing fantastic comes to mind here. Next!

July
This, of course, is the month in which we celebrate our Independence. And WTH is this font so flippin large?!
By the first of the month there is plenty of red, white, and blue to be seen.
Sometimes I get anxious and get all that out by June 14th....Flag Day.
This is also the month of my annual beach vacation....spent in Florida on Siesta Key with my sister and her family. FUN FUN!!

August
green again...for peridot....the birthstone. Aunt Peggy's b-day. This is the only real significance this month has for me at this time. The kids are usually back in school by this time, or the very first part of the month at least.

September
The annual Autumn Days festival here where I reside. Fun, but tiring as well. Labor Day...paid holiday. It is usually about this time that I start planning my gift list for Christmas. Not so this year. Can't seem to get in the groove. By the end of the month I hope to have my house decked out with fall decor.

October
One of my most beloved months of all! No paid holidays.....but it is the month of not only one, but TWO very special birthdays (my sister and my niece) as well as Halloween. Halloween....who can NOT enjoy Halloween?! I know there are so many ppl out there that just freak at the very idea of celebrating a day centered around ghouls, ghosties, and evil spirits. But geesh.....get over it! Haunted houses, trick-or-treating, little kids in cute costumes...big kids in costumes of every kind! LOL And candy candy candy!!!!!! Did i mention haunted houses? and spooks around every corner? My heart beats faster just thinking about it! I can't wait!

[Time is drawing nigh....i have to rush the ending.]

November
3 whole days paid with no work.... Veteran's Day, Thanksgiving AND the day after...which i so fondly refer to as Black Friday, as this is the shopping day from hell. Great sales, massive crowds. Usually the first day I do any REAL shopping for Christmas gifts.

December
Of course we all know by now that December is the month for the spirit of giving. The smell of pine cones and sugar cookies. Twinkling lights. It really is a beautiful time of year. For the inside and the outside. For me, Christmas is all about the celebration of the birth of Jesus. The way you choose to spend it is entirely up to you. But i enjoy the whole gift giving....and receiving....process. This is the month where my religious and secular lives run hand-in-hand and it's all good! oh yea..... paid holidays.....Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve AND New Year's Day...and that's a whole 'nuther celebration in itself!

Maybe I will elaborate more on each holiday and occasion on it's own later. I had fun doing this blog. A mental trip through an entire year. Remembering times past, anxiously awaiting celebrations for the future. If a day isn't specified for celebration.....i'll make something up! LOL

No matter the age, never underestimate the wit of a female!

I shall intro this blog with a small preface. What I am about to tell you is not a recent event. It occured within the last 6 months or so though. During this story any time you see ' ' on each end of a comment, I am quoting one of my children. When you see " " being used, those are the times that my children felt the need to use their fingers to make quotation marks in the air. Hopefully you can keep track of the scene.
Ready, set, go......

I was driving down the road with my two children in tow. In case you aren't aware, I have a boychild (bc) that is 13 and a girlchild (gc) that is 7. The three of us were on our way to one of the bc's baseball games. He feels that he can not play a decent game of baseball without eating a pack of sunflower seeds throughout the game. (this i understand....as i used to believe i couldn't water ski without chewing grape gum) So the bc asks his loving mother --that would be me! lol-- if i would detour to the local Minit Mart to purchase sunflower seeds, but before ending his sentence he made sure he turned to his sister and said 'and YOU aren't going to eat any of them'. To which she replied 'good, i don't want any stupid "sunflower seeds" anyway'. The bc looks at me with a confused look on his face, then turns back to his sister and says 'why did u do "sunflower seeds"...that was stupid.....you don't even know how to use "parentheses" moron'. The gc retorted with a look clearly saying what a dork her brother is 'they're not "parentheses"....they're "quotation marks" moron'. The bc whips his head around at me for confirmation as i say 'guess she TOLD YOU' !!!!! By this time i was laughing hysterically and doing good to keep the vehicle between the lines!
Back to the title of this blog...

A clean desk is not a good sign

Let's talk organization.
This is something that I have, I just choose not to implement most the time. LOL
My desk is a prime example. I have stuff stacked all over my desk. Right now the stacks are restricted to the outer perimeters, but they are still stacks. When I'm heavily involved in a tedious task I do good to spy woodgrain any where. Then there are the times when I have a multitude of tasks going simultaneously....that's when it gets really scary. The stacks vary in size and quantity depending on what time of year it is. Working in local government the busiest times for me come in quarterly intervals. In between those times I try to maintain some sort of structure, although my desk has been referred to as 'organized chaos'. This description isn't completely wrong. One may look at my desk and think to themselves "how do you find anything there"? But I do. I know right where everything is.
There was a point in time when I spent the better part of a day cleaning my desk off. Sorting, filing, organizing. One of my co-workers entered my office and nearly broke out in tears. He thought I had quit and had "packed my toys to go home". I promised him that day that he would never see my desk THAT clean again. I've stuck to that promise.

awwwww maaayyyyaaaannnnn

Call it fate...or karma...or subliminal persuasion...or whatever else u can think of that i can't.
Yesterday my blog entry included the line "when my back hurts"....and doncha know! UGH!
I could feel it coming on at my son's football game last night, but when I woke up this morning...holy cats did it ever hurt!
I was born female. Started out as a girl. Now I am a mom. I am woman...hear me roar!! That is precisely why I am here at work now. Why is it that the pain threshhold for men is so mucher lower than that of a woman? Even the neurologist that I saw a few years back with this problem could not believe that I didn't miss a day of work because of it. The fact that I was walking without screaming in sheer pain seemed to put him in a state of awe. The MRI he did at that time revealed that I have 2 bulging and one herniated disk in my lower back, resulting in my sciatic nerve being severely pinched. After 3 months of physical therapy 3 times a week I was finally able to walk without the electrical pain that initially shot down my left leg. After time that pain turned to numbness all the way to my toes. My PT included lower back massage, warm moist heat accompanied by the highest setting on the TENS Unit (transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation) and ultrasonic therapy as well as pelvic tugs.
So, I have thought about all my favorite things. It still hurts. But I am here, just moving at a much slower rate than normal. The good news is......i can still feel my leg!

favorite things

French fries and chocolate and little kids’ laughter
Reading a good book….chapter after chapter
Animals and new shoes and shiny sparkly rings
These are a few of my favorite things!

Rainbows and water and fast slalom skiing
Cookies from the oven and good movie seeing
Growing pretty flowers and my daughter when she sings
These are a few of my favorite things!

Warm bubble tub baths with soft music playing
Cool summer breezes with tall tree limbs swaying
Memories from the past and wondering what tomorrow brings
These are a few of my favorite things!

When my back hurts
When my job sucks
When I’m feeling bad
I simply remember my favorite things, And then I don't feel so bad . . .

Daisies….hmmm kittens…
Beaches…mittens…
La dee da, la dee da, La dee da, da, These are a few of my favorite things . . .

When my back hurts
When my job sucks
When I’m feeling bad
I simply remember my favorite things, And little by little my heavy heart sings…

And then I don't feel so bad . . .

not for the faint of heart

So I'm talking to a new friend of mine....and i hate this font.... hang on
ok...
when all the sudden it hits me. a new blog entry idea.
Dialect
dialects are every where. From country to country, state to state, even region to region. We all have our own way of saying things. The wonderful world of internet chatting even has it's own little dialect of sorts. maybe it's more code than dialect, and to those that are unfamiliar they see it more as hieroglyphics.
Let me just give you a sample of what i mean. This is what a normal online conversation between Julie and me would look like:

gms!
gm
how r u?
good, u?
good thx.
brb ggp
k me 2 but gggdc
b
me 2 wb mu
lol thx
roflmao
?
sent 2 u
k
OMG!!!!!! LMFAOOOOO
i NO!
neway, gg ttyl hagd cylyb
k tc cylyb

So there u have it. And that's one of the simpler ones. LOL
To you, that may all seem very normal....but to a newbie it's befuddling!

my tunes

Music is a big part of my life. Not that I can play any instruments, or carry a tune, or even keep a good beat, but I like music. It is soothing to me. Even if it is Love Shack by the B-52's (which just so happens to be what is playing on my radio right now) or any other array of songs that have a more upbeat tempo. I just like music. Maybe that says something about me and my way of life. I have to have "background noise". If all is quiet, it just seems wrong. Like my world is out-of-kilter or something. I can drive through the busiest of traffic with no tension whatsoever as long as I have my music. Reach over to turn the volume on my radio down and you may find yourself drawing back a damn nub! ROFLMAO.....yes....that IS funny to me. I'm warped like that. Get over it.

Oh goody! Lunch is here.... I'll finish this later.

Ok, I'm back. Where was I? Oh yea...my music. I just like to have it playing and that's all there is to it. In my car, in my office at work, when I'm cleaning house. All the time. I'm pretty tacky about it too. lmao. Someone was sitting in my office the other day and made a comment about my music. I said "you don't like my music?.....nobody asked you to sit in here." It wasn't long and they got up and left.
You may be asking yourself why I'm talking about music. I had a conversation with someone about music yesterday. My preference in music is all over the board. I like all kinds. Not alot of country though. please. don't make me hurt you.
Anyway, it's my blog and I couldn't think of anything else to talk about. If you can think of something better, just let me know and I'll do what I can to appease you.
So there ya go. Another entry.
Ya'll come back now, ya heah!?

I gotta pee

As busy as it has been around here, somehow I still seem to miraculously be having a good day. Except for that conversation I had earlier with the yayas. Apparently I have a flirtatious manner. I never realized i exuded such a trait, but i guess i do. They were very persistant. And even though I gave them several different opinions against it, they wrote all those off as "lies". LOL.....the funny thing is......i still luv those yayas. haha Anyway, I have relented to the possible fact that I may have a slight flirtatious manner.....slight. very slight. And definately not intentional. I'm told that's a good thing.
I still have multiple tasks or projects that need attention here at work, but i thought i would take a moment to do this.....since i have an anonymous someone waiting for another entry from me. perplexing. hmm.
Alrighty....like I said in the title....i gotta pee.